I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
