We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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