her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
