haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
