How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I believe in your delicious
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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