My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
