I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
