He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
