I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
