you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
