I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
