I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
