how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
