This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
