Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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