Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
