So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
