just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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