hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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