so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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