I want to have your abortion
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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