when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It's never too late to be topless.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
