My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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