another moral hangover. fuck.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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