he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The struggles of a small town man whore
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
