Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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