I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
