We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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