I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
