This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize