Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
