It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
