i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
