dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
