Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
