Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
