Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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