I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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