All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
In America we eat man semen.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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