dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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