YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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