Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
