Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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