I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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