i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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