The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
