I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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