Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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