does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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