He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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