My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
