i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
